Galactic Empire Warns Against Rebel Gathering At Peoplesbank Park
30 Apr, 2019
Officials of the Galactic Empire’s Imperial Security Bureau (ISB) announced they have intercepted transmissions regarding a treasonous recruiting drive by the so-called Alliance To Restore the Republic. The rebel gathering is set to take place on Earth at a spaceport known as PeoplesBank Park on Saturday, May 11.
ISB Colonel Wullf Yularen told holonet correspondents that Imperial probe droids surveilling PeoplesBank Park recorded announcements of a costume contest, “costume character appearances,” fireworks, and a giveaway of “free Star Wars books” at the venue’s gates.
“We suspect that is some kind of Rebel code for anti-Imperial propaganda,” Yularen said, adding that the encrypted language also included the phrase “while supplies last.”
Reached for comment, the Emperor’s chief agent, Darth Vader, warned that the Empire’s response to such a treasonous gathering would be, “Impressive. Most impressive.”
Asked if dispatching local Stormtrooper garrisons to monitor the gathering would be too severe, Lord Vader declined to answer. The reporter asking then mysteriously clutched at his throat, collapsed to the floor, and appeared to pass out.
Imperial officials warn all citizens loyal to Emperor Sheev Palpatine to NOT pursue tickets to this illegal “Star Wars Night presented by PA Virtual Charter School” at www.yorkrevolution.com or by calling (717) 801-HITS.
About the York Revolution: The York Revolution Professional Baseball Club is a member of the Atlantic League of Professional Baseball. The Revolution were Atlantic League Champions in 2010, 2011, and 2017. The 2019 season is the team’s 13th. Located at 5 Brooks Robinson Way, PeoplesBank Park hosts all 70 home games, in addition to myriad events through the entire calendar year. For tickets or more information, please call 717-801-HITS (4487) or visit the Revolution online at www.YorkRevolution.com.
About the Atlantic League of Professional Baseball (ALPB): With eight teams in the Mid-Atlantic and Texas, the ALPB is a leader in baseball innovation and a player gateway to Major League Baseball. Through its exclusive partnership with MLB, the Atlantic League tests Major League Baseball rules and equipment initiatives. The Atlantic League has sent over 900 players to MLB organizations while drawing more than 40 million fans to its affordable, family-friendly ballparks throughout its 22-year history. For more information, please visit www.AtlanticLeague.com.